You might be a Baptist if . . .
- You believe you are supposed to take a covered dish to heaven.
- You have never sung the third verse of any hymn.
- You clapped your hands in church last Sunday and felt guilty all week long.
- You woke up craving fried chicken and thought you were called to preach.
- You think that God’s presence is strongest on the back three pews.
- Your definition of fellowship has something to do with food.
- You honestly believe that the Apostle Paul spoke the King James Version.
- You think Welch’s grape juice and crackers were served at the last supper.
- You think “Victory in Jesus” is the national anthem.